A friend emailed me this story that gave me such a new perspective. In 1800 James Garfield was chosen as the american president and was shot in the back in his office. they could not retrieve the bullet, but after months of doctors poking and groping for the bullet (they did not have aenastetic or proper tools like we do today) he eventually died due to an infection around the wound. The wound never got a chance to heal and this resulted in his death.

How many times do we do this with ourselves? We keep poking at a wound until it festers so much that it causes the death of us. The scar or the bullet will always still be there, God doesn't forget that you aren't hurt. He helps you heal along the way, we need to stop fidgeting with it until we can be healed efficiently.

And who knows, most of the times our bodies end up getting rid of the bullet or damaged tissue itself.

Use your scars, there are people out there who are going through the same thing and can't lift up their eyes to see the hope we have in Christ as you did. irrespective of how and why and when you did.
GOD WANTS TO AND NEEDS TO BE SHARED. He has overflowing compassion on people who walk around with pain in their lives. He made the ultimate sacrifice to that we can live in his freedom and hope and love and joy and peace.

                                                                                                                  Why keep it to yourself?

Whispers

In this absolute quiet You whisper in my heart
Words so sweet that I can't deny the truth
though I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart in You

It's useless trying to analyse, how I found myself so bare
torn apart by a heart I know You hold so dear
but peace floods my heart as it dawns in my thoughts
that you're unchanging , daring to pick up pieces no one else dares

Jesus i'm in awe of You, in love, in grace , in truth
Jesus You're the song, that keeps pulling me through

i run- though You find (pieces of me no one sees)
i lie- though You know (the origins misleading me)
i hide- though You see (the ugly mirror beside me)
i cry- though You're beside me (You kiss the tear off my cheek)
Jesus this darkness reminds me, Your Love never fades
You are You eternally

I'm tempted to wash away the aches in my heart, a christian's lot
though i know better than defining you by such human measure
The actions they chose- broke open such bittersweet wounds
I can't repair those scars left with such neglect
but in my shuddered cry you enfold me and whisper
that you know, but that Your love helps me cover any failure
Jesus, jesus, my Saviour...

My week has been good and bad. I find myself at a place where I am reminded how much I am made up out of dust and unworthy of anything God showers me with, in such a way that I even sometimes feel guilty.
Have you ever felt this way?
Am I alone in this?

I live in a place where the term "prosecution" has no real meaning. South Africa has its politics and its ups and downs, but generally speaking we are a peacefull nation. The word Prosecution stems from the Late Latin prōsecūtiōn-(stem of prōsecūtiō) :a following up. In other words, your past catches up to you, your sins, mistakes... is all on show. Then why am I feeling this way?

I know sins are forgiven and forgotten in the yes of God, and the only one able to judge me for it is God Himself (who sees Christ's Righteousness when he looks at me after I have asked for His forgiveness). 

And then it hit me. 

Ephesians 6:12
"for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Easiest way of distracting the enemy? Make them believe the war does not apply to them. So stand strong in your faith, stand strong in your hope and your love. I will try! the rest is up to God! 

Prayer for the day...

Bring rivers in this waste land, clouds into this sky

Bring springs of life into the wells that have run dry

Ride up in this city, Gather in this light

Pour down on your people, your Glory and your Life

Rain, oh we thirst for water

Rain, we are desert land

Rain on your sons and daughters

Rain bring your rain again

Speak dreams into this water, Envisions to this land

Let oceans be divided and bring forth life again

Rise Up in this city, gather in this light

Pour down on your people, your Glory and your Life

Let the tide roll in washing over our lives

Let your water fall again

Bring rivers to this wasteland, clouds up in this sky

(Day of Fire - Rain)

You need to make today count

In the event of last night I am only left with this song.

We started off our first night of home group quite disastrous, alot of people could not come, in the middle of the talk a friend's brother fell off his scooter and had to be rushed to hospital (which left us with 2 less members) and then a friend had to attend to a suicidal friend whom she hasn't seen in 5 years, only to be too late; and now has to deal not only with her own natural human instinct of feeling guilty but also the mother blaming her.

It breaks my heart because I can feel how tight Jesus is pulling me into his arms with all this, and I'm not even involved. How much more the mother? My friend? the brother?
We need to remember that each and every day counts, and this lifestyle is what makes it worthy of being counted:
(Jesus Culture)
Where You go I'd go
What You say I'll say
What You pay I'll Pray
Jesus only did what He saw You do
He would only say what He heard You speak
He would only move when he felt You lead
Following your heart following your Spirit
How could i expect to walk without You
when every move that Jesus made was in surrender?
I will not begin to live wihtout You
For You alone are worthy and
You are always good
You are always good...

oh, you are always good...