A friend emailed me this story that gave me such a new perspective. In 1800 James Garfield was chosen as the american president and was shot in the back in his office. they could not retrieve the bullet, but after months of doctors poking and groping for the bullet (they did not have aenastetic or proper tools like we do today) he eventually died due to an infection around the wound. The wound never got a chance to heal and this resulted in his death.

How many times do we do this with ourselves? We keep poking at a wound until it festers so much that it causes the death of us. The scar or the bullet will always still be there, God doesn't forget that you aren't hurt. He helps you heal along the way, we need to stop fidgeting with it until we can be healed efficiently.

And who knows, most of the times our bodies end up getting rid of the bullet or damaged tissue itself.

Use your scars, there are people out there who are going through the same thing and can't lift up their eyes to see the hope we have in Christ as you did. irrespective of how and why and when you did.
GOD WANTS TO AND NEEDS TO BE SHARED. He has overflowing compassion on people who walk around with pain in their lives. He made the ultimate sacrifice to that we can live in his freedom and hope and love and joy and peace.

                                                                                                                  Why keep it to yourself?

Whispers

In this absolute quiet You whisper in my heart
Words so sweet that I can't deny the truth
though I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart in You

It's useless trying to analyse, how I found myself so bare
torn apart by a heart I know You hold so dear
but peace floods my heart as it dawns in my thoughts
that you're unchanging , daring to pick up pieces no one else dares

Jesus i'm in awe of You, in love, in grace , in truth
Jesus You're the song, that keeps pulling me through

i run- though You find (pieces of me no one sees)
i lie- though You know (the origins misleading me)
i hide- though You see (the ugly mirror beside me)
i cry- though You're beside me (You kiss the tear off my cheek)
Jesus this darkness reminds me, Your Love never fades
You are You eternally

I'm tempted to wash away the aches in my heart, a christian's lot
though i know better than defining you by such human measure
The actions they chose- broke open such bittersweet wounds
I can't repair those scars left with such neglect
but in my shuddered cry you enfold me and whisper
that you know, but that Your love helps me cover any failure
Jesus, jesus, my Saviour...

My week has been good and bad. I find myself at a place where I am reminded how much I am made up out of dust and unworthy of anything God showers me with, in such a way that I even sometimes feel guilty.
Have you ever felt this way?
Am I alone in this?

I live in a place where the term "prosecution" has no real meaning. South Africa has its politics and its ups and downs, but generally speaking we are a peacefull nation. The word Prosecution stems from the Late Latin prōsecūtiōn-(stem of prōsecūtiō) :a following up. In other words, your past catches up to you, your sins, mistakes... is all on show. Then why am I feeling this way?

I know sins are forgiven and forgotten in the yes of God, and the only one able to judge me for it is God Himself (who sees Christ's Righteousness when he looks at me after I have asked for His forgiveness). 

And then it hit me. 

Ephesians 6:12
"for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Easiest way of distracting the enemy? Make them believe the war does not apply to them. So stand strong in your faith, stand strong in your hope and your love. I will try! the rest is up to God! 

Prayer for the day...

Bring rivers in this waste land, clouds into this sky

Bring springs of life into the wells that have run dry

Ride up in this city, Gather in this light

Pour down on your people, your Glory and your Life

Rain, oh we thirst for water

Rain, we are desert land

Rain on your sons and daughters

Rain bring your rain again

Speak dreams into this water, Envisions to this land

Let oceans be divided and bring forth life again

Rise Up in this city, gather in this light

Pour down on your people, your Glory and your Life

Let the tide roll in washing over our lives

Let your water fall again

Bring rivers to this wasteland, clouds up in this sky

(Day of Fire - Rain)

You need to make today count

In the event of last night I am only left with this song.

We started off our first night of home group quite disastrous, alot of people could not come, in the middle of the talk a friend's brother fell off his scooter and had to be rushed to hospital (which left us with 2 less members) and then a friend had to attend to a suicidal friend whom she hasn't seen in 5 years, only to be too late; and now has to deal not only with her own natural human instinct of feeling guilty but also the mother blaming her.

It breaks my heart because I can feel how tight Jesus is pulling me into his arms with all this, and I'm not even involved. How much more the mother? My friend? the brother?
We need to remember that each and every day counts, and this lifestyle is what makes it worthy of being counted:
(Jesus Culture)
Where You go I'd go
What You say I'll say
What You pay I'll Pray
Jesus only did what He saw You do
He would only say what He heard You speak
He would only move when he felt You lead
Following your heart following your Spirit
How could i expect to walk without You
when every move that Jesus made was in surrender?
I will not begin to live wihtout You
For You alone are worthy and
You are always good
You are always good...

oh, you are always good...

Death and resurrection...

So we go to the Krugersdorp High School once a week just to do some bible study with the girls...
What's AWESOME is how they are responding!!! we get to chat about topics people are normally to scared to chat about... Like death, resurrection and Judgement.

Somehow churches only touch this topic on funerals, which is scary because while we are alive we determine where we will end up after it. Most people have a misconception about this. Fact is: Scripture teaches us that:
1.We all will face death.
2.We will rise to face God in His throne room to be judged according to our good, and evil deeds ons earth.
3.This will determine where we spend eternity. (heaven / hell)

I also want to state something: Hell wasn't created for US, but for the angels who decided to side with Satan. God doesn't WANT us to end up there, He MEANT for us to walk in relationship with Him - Just like Adam and Eve before the fall of sin. He WANTS to love us unconditionally, but somehow (?) we end up thinking that we either have to work for that love (and we lose the blessings God sends our way) or that we never deserve to be loved that way (and we end up never being loved by ourselves or God...)

Isn't that the easiest way for evil to pull our attention away? The statistics speak for themselves regarding depression, anxiety and suicide. God never wants that, you know why?

Because God (whom IS love) NEVER FAILS AND NEVER GIVES UP.

:)

How lucky are we that a GOD decided to LOvE us this way...

God is good!!!

So, God has been a very busy man ;)

Our homegroup has been such a support to me, its a little crazy. But we are at a stage where God has shown us that we need to grow. Right now we will be splitting into 2 and then getting together once a month for a huge worship session. All of us were a little intimidated as Daniel mentioned that we can reach the entire West Rand. I mean, thats a lot of people?! hehe. So while He's talking immediately I get sad because these people are like my brothers and sisters, i dont want to leave them!!! As soon as the thought was processed I felt God say "But my child, how else are you to grow closer to me?" lol. Clearly I was missing the point!!! The people in the bible whom God referred to are people who were never willing to back down when it came to Him. Some people learned the hard way, like Jona and Moses when he went to egypt and said his wife was his sister... but int he end God bowed down and picked these people off of their knees.

So now all of us are sitting in this room, and Daniel has just said that in our hearts we need to decide wether its just a social club, or if we are actively going to get going. I felt God stir something in my heart and paged to Daniel 7. He's been thrown in the dungeon with all the lions for refusing to bow down to a human king. And God gives me strength: The king comes to Daniel the following day, screaming down the pit to hear if he's still alive... and Daniel answers back that he is perfectly fine, because God has let him TRUST in Him in order to save him. God's saying I need to let go and let HIM do the work, the protecting and the growing and the saving. I just need to be the one to open my mouth and proclaim how good he has been to me.

Once again I am AMAZED at how light his yoke is... How deep His love is... How secure His promises are... and how UNFAILING He is in everything!

I love Him with an unmeasureable amount of love, only because He chose to die for me when I least deserved it!

Words...

" Deliver me from my prideful mind
it weighs heavy on me all the time
What a silet, yet, such a deadly crime
ti think that I own my own life

So humble me just like you did
the king who lost his mind in the wilderness
And dont let me go back
Until I confess
You are the only God

Deliver me from my hateful toughts
I'm commiting murder in the presence of God
Break my heart just like David's was
With a weeping, pregnant widow in my house

How can I desoise my brother
When I killed your only begotten Son?
Help me prefer another and say
You are the only God

This morning my alarm went off
Earlier than I'd ever want
And in this small obedience, Lord
Help my heart stay bowed down

Father, You've given Jesus
All those He will raise up
And all eyes, including mine,
will see
You are the only God. " Bethany Dillon.

I'm Happy

The week has been...different. :) Things are going great and God has been so good to me. Today I was reminded of never selling the bible cheap. if you do, you lose the anointing of the bible.

This is quite deep and intense, and seeing as I have a killer head ache I will ponder this and then post my thoughts.

Just wanted to say Hi.

and that I'm happy.

 :)

Psalm 103

So I remembered a Verse. haha. i'm a little bit down today but I think its not because of anything specific. I've been having nightmares this whole week, and as I have mentioned it's usually because of books or series Ive been reading. This week Ive spent the time I normally would have spent on that, on reading the bible. God shared last night with me Psalm 103:11-14

It reads:

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is his love for those who fear him,
as far as the east is from the west
so far has he removed his transgressions from us
as a father has compassion on his children
so the lord has compassion on those who fear him
for he knows how we are formed
he remembers that we are dust."

That's a whole lotta love!!! :) How cool is God that he still remembers inbetween all the sin and stuff we do, that he made us specifically the way he did. He could have chosen to make me taller. or less impatient. (some charactaristics are in my life due to my own downfall and I'm not talking about these here) But God still put my DNA piece by piece together the way he did. And this is where my depression had to get a slip in my life. Because, even though it's a strong chemical imbalance, I HAVE HOPE. It's because of HIS LOVE that I can wake up i the morning and smile because I know I have a GOD who LOVES me, just because I chose to have Him to wonderful things in my life. In fact, I have to accept that he CHOSE to DIE in order to live me completely. And then He ROSE from the dead, yo LOVE me completely. Now, How can I not love this God back who has done all of this, for me!?

Remember: He knows...

Life with God: How Dare you?

Life with God: How Dare you?: Last Night I spent some time reading in the old testament, and as you'll see, I'm very bad with remembering passages haha. but I will make a...

How Dare you?

Last Night I spent some time reading in the old testament, and as you'll see, I'm very bad with remembering passages haha. but I will make a note of it somewhere. I Promise.

Anyway. I read about how Miriam and Aaron got jealous about Moses and ended up being repremanded in quite a "eina" way. Miriam started this when she merely mentioned grumbilingly how they also had a part to play in the whole leading the nation out of slavery thing. Which in all technicallity is true. the issue was with the state of her heart when she mentioned this. She envied Moses for the attention he was getting for leading Israel out of Egypt. What happened next will make any person's memory (who was raised with strict parents) run cold at the mention of how God decided to handle the situation.

He called them all 3 up, and told them to meet Him in the tent where the Ark was kept. haha that's where my tummy starts turning- knowing there will be a full on confrontation with a parent is rather scary leave alone with an almighty God. pffff! God stood up to them and asked them how they dared to even think ill of the servant he chooses to talk personally to?

This is what got me. We have a personal relationship with God. and although I can never claim to be the person Moses was, I have Jesus and His sacrifice to stand on.

Whenever the world turns on you, and the idea of just wanting to get revenge on someone (however how small) creeps up on you remember that you have an Almighty God saying: HOW DARE YOU?

How undeserving we are, but wow, how glad I am!

Seeing is believing!

Jesus's messages wasn't for the crowds but for the players. He spoke in parables in crowds, but spent time with his disciples to exlpain it to them through relationship.

Hebrews 12:1-3

-there are witnesses who have finished the race!

-God has a plan for us, a foolproof design to become what he has set out for us to do, but what stops us then?

The way you look at things changes your perception and this influences the truth and the way you see the light.We need to grow in our revelation of who God is!See, if you don't get the value of something you miss the point.

What influences us i how we see God?

1.How do you see God?

-score keeper

-silent one

-non-existant etc

-this depends how u worship him and then how you mold yourself after him

2.Our experiences

-we build God on our experiences

-he can not be influenced through us

-God is a person and he works the way he will choose to -bad experiences can steal ur inheritance and you miss out on Gods blessings in life

3.We can have tunnel vision

-theres a big world and our calling goes furthur than what is going on right now and in front of us.

-Ask yourself these 4Questions DAILY:

  -Is there a God? (What does that mean for me?)

  -Does God care? (Is he involved?)

  -Does God care about me?

  -If he does, does He care about what I do?(What you do is important, how, where, with who etc)

-God will move you on when you have accomplished what you needed to.

Why did God put u there? Things then start being an oppertunity!!

 

So how do we get to a place of changed perception?

Ephesians 4:11-16

-5fold ministry for equipping the saints-the body can grow and be expanded in truth and love to one another.

-there are NO LEVELS of being a servant!!!

Step1:

-knowledge of the son of God!!

-devotion, spirit of God needs to reveal Jesus to you.

Step2:

-speaking the truth in love

-covenant relationships

-we need to be corrected, guided and discipled.

Step3:

-we each have a role to fulfill

-only 20% of the body is carrying all the weight-it'll never work -the 80% who don't pull their weight lose the blessing of serving the body!

-We all have a talent and a gift that fits together to work the best

WHO is Jesus?

Some say He is just a good man, a prophet or a lunatic. The trick is that the way you see Jesus determines quite a lot in your life. It determines how you worship him, and how you facilitate your love towards him. It dertermines how you ask for blessings or how you direct your life decisions.

After his death Jesus met with a few people on the day he rose. 2 of those people were men walking towards the city. They were talking about Jesus, to Jesus! They had to have spent time with him, yet why didn't they recognise Him?

How do you recognise jesus? as a stranger? as someone who keeps score? as an old man not relevant to the modern times of the day? as someone who is angry and wants to take it out on you?
As far as I know (please feel free to correct me) Jesus is the only son sent to die for his worshippers. no other religion has this element of sacrifice!!! This makes Jesus different, he's a God of empathy and compassion. of wrath and judgment. But also a God of love.

In the story the men only realised who Jesus was after sharing communion with Him. This speaks of relationship.

When was the last time you shared communion and relationship with Jesus?

It's a war...

God has been so good to me. one example is what happened last night. Upon wanting to pay for a drink I realized that my wallet was missing, and thinking it was in a friend's car didn't think too much of it. However, upon searching for it in their car we quickly realised thst it was not there... and as all of you know, in South Africa it's quite a headache getting all the paperwork done for new ID's, Drivers licence etc. I could not even recall when last I had used my wallet!

I got home and started looking in the obvious places, but found nothing. Suddenly an idea popped into my head: my car!! I headed to my car, and found my wallet on the floor by the passenger seat! The God factor? Whilst heading home, my friends prayed and asked God to give me clearness of mind to remember where I had used it last. How Good is God that He even CARES about something silly like a wallet in my life!

We have been going through a bit of a rough patch at our new evening services and this is directly linked to a spiritual onslaught. We launced open to the public 2 weeks ago and since then things have felt a bit strange. Last night in our praise and worship I felt moved to pray for protection. Standing aside I declared the blood of Jesus over the building and could see in my mind's eye 4 columns of fire rising up at each of the 4 corners of the building. This is ground that God had given us to reach that community and we have the authority to stand on that. Where the light is the darkness has no choice but to flee!!!
The service went smoothe and we even had quite a few new comers, Praise God!

I used to be scared regarding topics like spiritual warfare but I now know it was only because I never fully understood the consequences of what Jesus had done when he died on a cross and took up the keys of hell, and then rose from the dead. See, the victory is ours, The battle has been won. But what would be the easiest way of pulling our attention away from the fact that the battle is won and we only need to stand firm in authority on that? It's so simple yet so sneaky: leading us to believe that there is still a chance that evil could provail... Now Ive come to understand a tiny bit of what it means to stand on the authority of what Jesus had done: I have no fear and I only have Hope. there's no going back!!!

My night was spent rolling around in bed with weird dreams. at first I thought it was because of my love for reading fiction books with elves and faeries and dragons in them, but fell asleep again praying against that. the dreams didn't stop coming though, and only after did i realise that I never prayed for protection against spritual warfare. How could I stand up and declare war and not expect a sneak attack?

I am tired but overjoyed because this confirms that I obeyed when it was needed. My God is bigger and better and the WINNER in this battle.

starting out...

Life has been impossible without God. haha, that's the entire gospel in a sentence. But it's really the truth. I have sat through countless sermons, watching a speaker being enthusiastic about this entity i've grown up with, -wondering where he got this from.

turns out it's a personal revelation. :) I'm still confused as could be concerning how He works- but i have learned a few things.

1. God is a gentleman.
2. God loves us in a way we can't fully comprehend.
3. God never gives up.
4. God loves to surprise us. Everyday.

He is absolutely amazing and mind blowing. but he will always want to do the best for you.